I found darkness strange. The yellow Street lamps where I had grown, filled the darkness which promised the happiness for the perfect dawn. I loved the darkness and I always have. I raised my head above to see the white frozen astrals. I wished darkness could prevail as it is the best way that allows us who we are. The cold onshore breeze from the either side, echoed my brother’s voice which was a music under the summer breeze.
* * *
‘Milan, be prepared. I’ll be there soon’. his voice was a melody.
I fantasized my brother, who raised me till now after my parents death. My head lolled down to one shoulder to touch the polka dot t shirt, which I was wearing. It was the dress which my brother gifted on my last birthday. I heard back on school, the ‘amusement Cinderella fair ‘, that was conducted in the central city. My brother, whom I passionately called ‘Honey’, promised me to take into the amusement fair. The hazel beady eyes of mine seemed to reflect the grey of sky. The echo of Honey’s voice still striked my ear.
‘Milan, I ll arrive at 3 pm in the evening, be prepared’.
I waited in the corridor of my small bungalow, like a picture which was drawn by the enthusiastic and passionate artist. My chest nut brown curls waved into the air like a wavy creatures.
Being a 12-year old girl, alone in home was challenging. I was waiting for my promised dawn’s arrival. The coolness drifted into my body, making me freeze, even when I welcomed the day that invited the summer breeze.
It was sunlit day of the late spring. I was now watching at the alarm that I setup a few minutes before. I sat there, awaiting my beloved brother, it felt for me like the adventure out of curiosity, out of enchantment. I fantasized the high notes that were sirens, horns and hollering. I heard the creepy sounds of dusty hinges of the gate. I rushed towards him, holding my breath in hand, the knee length skirt waving in air, perfectly synchronous to the neck line. The specks of colors from flowers like lavenders and roses entered into me. I could still feel the river ‘s soft wending it’s way between the banks.
‘ Honey………… ‘ I could feel his warmth around me.
* * *
Few months ago, sky was painted with red hues of all colors, faded leaving only a black matt canvas. Still, those days, felt me like an old photograph, captured in a Polaroid. Honey, was the perfect song that I sang, a fresh gift but I now realize that it was my illusion. There was once my Honey, whom I loved and trusted into. But, the same one loved the money, not in the way I loved him. He shattered my trust and broken my love.
That day, six months back, the day when he promised me to take the ‘amusement Cinderella fair’. But it became so late to realise that he was fabricating me with his lie, with his fake love. The lie that torn me apart. He was actually planned to sell me to the ‘Red Street Men’ in the greed of money. I deciphered that he only loved money, not me. Money had fascinated him so far.
Tears snaking down my cheeks. I saw my bruises, the wildest miseries flowing through me. The promise of life in the darkness, it was my brother-the sweetness of my life. Finally, it was like the blue haze of day lifted to reveal the dark stars.
Now, I – the girl of half goddesses turned to half evil, as the forced ‘child prostitute ‘, in the red streets. Honey, was the master of my disguise. But, still now I missed him. The love and memories was striking inside my bones. I became the thunderstorms and the battle scars was still visible in the piece of poetry girl.
‘ Milan, be prepared. They will arrive at 3 pm in evening I heard one of the gang leader warned.
The constellations are all summoned on my way. Was that my hallucinations? Ain’t I am tired of this? I set the alarm for 3 pm. The ticking of the mother clock remind me of myself, six months back… I sat in front of the alarm clock, my head was painting. I was panting slowly though. Perhaps, Honey would come one day, to bring the sweetness again.
Someone banged outside.. I opened the door, then the alarm strikes three………………..
# Anjana Sundar.